When deciding to end a marriage, it’s often advisable to remain private about your decision unless you or your spouse is sure that it’s the right path. In most cases, it’s best to wait until you (and your spouse) have already filed for divorce to protect the family’s privacy.
It’s important to remember that your kids need to know about it before anyone else does. In addition, therapists and Feldman & Lee PS, along with other divorce lawyers in the state, note that they need to be told in a way they can understand or suitable for their age.
Here are some things to keep in mind when breaking the news:
- Very young kids cannot take in too much detail.
- Children between six and 11 will need further explanation and detail to understand what is happening.
- Adolescents need a full and detailed explanation to understand what’s happening on an emotional level. This is because they’re at a more rebellious stage.
Tell them Together
If possible, you and your spouse should break the news and provide an agreed explanation. This can help avoid fear and anxiety. Be open to answering questions if they have any, but be careful not to get into specifics that can make them more upset. Reassure that both mom and dad love them and that it’s not their fault.
What Kids May Feel
The news of divorce can make kids feel that the world is being turned upside down. They’re also likely to feel different emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and loss. Some may find it difficult to understand why mom and dad have to split or wonder if the separation is temporary or permanent. Such responses are normal, so it’s best to understand what they are going through.
Note that kids will feel sad and disappointed even if they don’t say or show it. Make sure that show them love and care. An appointment with a therapist or psychologist can also help them at this difficult time. Don’t forget to get in touch with a divorce attorney when fighting for the custody of the kids.